I had sex with Derek Jeter and all I got was this stupid gift basket.

Not the actual gift basket, trust me, I looked, but still THANKS FOR THE SEX JETER!

Derek Jeter is either a huge pimp and ladies man or a huge egotistical douchebag, ASIDE from that, after he has a one night stand with a woman, as a thank you/payment/insult, he gives them a gift basket of autographed Yankees swag. SERIOUSLY!?!?

I found this so hilarious that I almost couldn’t write the first line of this of this post cause I didn’t think anything I could write would properly reflect how entertaining I think this is and honestly, calling Derek Jeter an egotistical douche-bag still didn’t do it for me.

Ok, so after breaking up with his girlfriend Minka Kelly, Derek Jeter became one of the “most eligible bachelors”…blah blah blah. Whenever the dude has a one night stand, he’ll make sure the lady gets a safe ride home where they’re presented with a gift basket of Derek Jeter Memorabilia. Again, SERIOUSLY!? Being a famous, five-time world series winning athlete, whose autograph on a baseball can go for big money is one thing, I can’t imagine how a girl would feel after that. Hey girl thanks for the sex, I know you’re not a prostitute but here’s my autograph, it’s not money, but it’s worth money. This became public when Jeter met up with a woman he had apparently forgotten about hooking up with and ended up giving her an identical gift basket. Oops.

CLICK MY SMUG FACE!!!

Can you imagine how a woman would feel if the average joe tried to pull a trick like that?

“Hey babe, last night was great, here’s my autograph on a few blank CD’s I had laying around, I took a bite out of a Cliff Bar, wasn’t a big fan so you can have the rest of that, oh and I wrote my last name on the back of a t-shirt, you can have that, I can make another one. You can put them all in that old plastic bag over there. Sooo…see ya around!”

-Sean