To be successful, you need to persevere to achieve your goals.  Just kidding, it’s all about who you know – and you can’t deny that fact.  So what happens when losers like me don’t have the right connections?  Well, the world is full of throw-away jobs, and they will be your primary source of income until you gain friends in high places.  But for now, you’re stuck faking a smile to people who spend a fortune and drive away in a brand new Porsche.

4) Mingling with the 1% 

This doesn’t apply to the majority of retail stores, but it’s certainly something that you’ll have to deal with if you’re like me.  I currently work at a popular designer clothing store, which I won’t name for the sake of my employment.  The mall that I work at is in an affluent area, so every five or so cars you see will be a Mercedes or a Lexus, with a few Ferraris and Maseratis thrown in for good measure.  The place reeks of money.

It runs on the tears of orphans and the broken dreams of blue-collar families.

These rich people come into my store already carrying Nordstrom and Louis Vuitton bags, and then they go on to spend more money in one transaction than I make in two months.   When I first witnessed this, I thought to myself, “Wow, it must be nice to be that well off.”  But after a few thousand times, my thought process shifted to “I’ll never be that successful.  I’m such a goddamned failure.”  However, this doesn’t mean the 1% are arrogant pricks like you’d expect.  Some of the nicest customers I’ve encountered were among this demographic.  The only reason I hate interacting with them is because their mere existence makes me feel like a waste of life.  It many not sound like something that will affect you, but after a while, you’ll be reaching for the nearest bottle of booze and the nearest gun after every shift.

3) Dealing with Terrible Human Beings

Bad customers are a mainstay in the universe.  It doesn’t matter whether you work at Wal-Mart or Prada, you’re going to encounter the annoying bastards who think it’s your fault that the company charges so much.  I refer to them as Price Nazis.  These people are mad that they can’t get a discount on a DVD, or a reduced price on a t-shirt that they clearly sabotaged and claim it was like that when they found it.

“I accidentally doused these in gasoline and dropped a match on them. Discount?”

They’re going to vent this unparalleled rage upon you, and there’s nothing you can do but tell them “I’m sorry, we can’t do that.”  When you say this, it will only make them angrier.  They’ll ask to speak with your manager, who will tell them the exact same thing.  If you’re lucky, they’ll just roll their eyes and storm out of the store.  If you’re not lucky, they’ll throw every single curse word in the English language at you, brag about how much better they are than you because you’re still working in retail, and they might even approach other customers and loudly tell them that your customer service is horrible.  I’m not exaggerating, because I’ve seen it before.

On a similar vein as the Price Nazis, the Discount Fetishists love nothing more than grabbing everything in the store, shoving it in your face and asking for a discount.  When you say no, they get a look in their eye resembling someone who just learned they have colon cancer.  When you direct them to the sale section of the store, they don’t bother looking for anything because to them, a mark-down is just not the same as a discount.  Eventually, they’ll leave without annoying you further – unless they’re the Barterers.

“This Applebees coupon has your name written all over it.”

The name is pretty self-explanatory for these people.  They’ll continue to try to convince you to bring the prices down.  Some of them will even try to offer services in exchange for your coveted employee discount.  One customer in particular seriously offered me a pair of Beats headphones if I bought some items for him with my discount.  I obviously declined his offer, and sternly told him to go find someone who is dumb enough to risk their job over such a meager bribe.  Honestly, there are only a handful of people I’d risk my employment for,  and they are Mila Kunis, Scarlett Johanssen, Mila Kunis and Mila Kunis.

Oh, and Mila Kunis.

2) Insane Hours

If you’re unlucky enough to have open availability, you are going to be scheduled for shifts that can literally kill you.  Last month, I worked from 4pm-1am one night rearranging the store.  The next day I had to come in at 5am to finish what we started doing the previous night.  I live roughly 25 miles away from my store, so I have to leave about an hour early to beat the morning commute traffic on I-880.  So that meant I had to wake up at 3:30am to get to work on time.  Do the math.  I seriously was only able to get a half hour of sleep that night before I had to wake up and get ready again.  And I’m not the only one who has to deal with this.  One of my managers lives A FUCKING HOUR away from our store, so you can imagine the how awesomely horrible her days are.

“I haven’t slept in 4 years.”

There is no reason to be physically and mentally tormented to such a degree.  The only silver lining for this situation is a bigger paycheck, so tha–oh wait, retail pays CLOSE TO NOTHING.  In exchange for years being taken off of your life due to sleep deprivation, you get just enough money to pay the bills.  Sometimes.

1) No Future

If everything I’ve already mentioned isn’t enough to make you snap, this one certainly will.  Every entry-level employer will tell you “this isn’t a job, it’s a career!”  If you don’t feel the powerful urge to punch them in the throat when they say this, congratulations, you’re fucking insane.  It’s a safe bet that the employees don’t want to work there, and none of them see it as a career.  This applies to all retail stores, to fast-food restaurants, and any other job that doesn’t require a college degree.  Seriously, the next time you find yourself at one of these locations, observe the employees.  Do they seem like they truly enjoy being there?

“Just three more hours until I can go home and cry myself to sleep.”

And don’t think it’s any better for the managers and bosses.  I’ll guarantee that exactly none of them grew up with the goal of becoming the manager or the district head-honcho.  While their pay might be somewhat decent, the amount of work they have to endure just isn’t worth it.  But the worst part?  This is their CAREER.  This is what defines them.  If they were to be killed by a drunk driver tomorrow, the newspapers would say “Target Store Manager Killed In Car Accident.,” or “Macy’s Employee Hit By Car.”  It doesn’t matter if they’ve been there for years and worked their asses off to move up, they’ll still be ridiculed for not having “a real job.”

Now imagine how it is for us regular employees.  If I were to be killed while employed at my current job, my family would probably feel shame for my lack of accomplishments rather than sorrow.

“He…he was good at playing video games, I guess…”

So the moral of this story: go to college.

Your Monday just got a hell of a lot better. Check out the teaser trailer for the new Bond flick, “Skyfall”, due in theaters November 9th.

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You’re welcome.

-ivan.

In 2008, Marvel Studios released the first of many film adaptations of their own comic book properties. With “Iron Man,” the legendary publisher took great care in making sure the summer blockbuster did the source material justice, and succeeded with flying colors (red and gold, primarily). Those who stayed after the credits were treated to a short scene showcasing Samuel L. Jackson as a mysterious man with an eye patch saying something about an “Avengers Initiative.” With that moment, comic fans everywhere collectively shit a massive brick made of tremendous excitement and towering expectations. Four years later, Marvel Studios has delivered on their promise of an Avengers film. Was it even remotely possible for them to meet the staggering expectations of their fans? Find out after the break!

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In short, YES. In not so short, YES OH MY GOD YES I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE THIS MOVIE EXISTS YES. In case you didn’t catch it from either of those, um… sentences (?), this movie is ridiculously good. If that enthusiasm is enough to convince you to see it and you want to avoid anything even remotely approaching spoilers, then go ahead and stop reading this now and GO SEE THIS DAMN MOVIE, GUYS. SERIOUSLY. For everyone else: Don’t worry, I won’t spoil any major plot points, so feel free to continue reading in safety.

Full disclosure: I have quite enjoyed all the previous Marvel Studios films (those being “Iron Man,” “The Incredible Hulk,” “Iron Man 2,” “Thor,” and “Captain America: The First Avenger,” in release order), as well as having a passing interest in the comic properties themselves. I am not, however, a regular reader of the comics. Either way, as long as the movie was not a massive fumble (which, let’s face it, could very easily have happened with this many major characters in one story), I was probably going to enjoy it. The kicker, though, is Marvel’s decision to hire Joss Whedon as writer and director.

Fuller disclosure: Joss Whedon is probably the closest thing I have to a god. As the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog, and the criminally underrated Dollhouse, Whedon has been responsible for some of the most influential works of fiction on me both creatively and regarding my life in general. I’m basically already primed to enjoy anything that’s in his voice, so I knew I was going to love “The Avengers” the second they announced Whedon’s involvement. I was STILL surprised by just how ridiculously entertaining the film ended up being.

You magnificent bastard.

I suppose a synopsis is technically in order, but in all honesty all you really need to know is that it involves Iron Man, Bruce Banner/The Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Black Widow, and Hawkeye teaming up to fight an evil force and save the world. If you want something more specific than that, Loki (Thor’s mischievous brother, played by Tom Hiddleston) has returned from the void with a mysterious magical space army at his back intent on taking over the people of Earth and ruling it by force. S.H.I.E.L.D., an organization run by the enigmatic and authoritative Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) has tasked themselves with rounding up a group of extraordinary people (see the list of superheroes earlier in the paragraph) to fight off Loki’s army and save the people of Earth.

In case you thought the poster art was a lie and there couldn’t possibly be a scene in the film containing THAT MUCH AWESOME, I’ll leave this here to prove you wrong. You stupid, stupid person.

What results is one of the most entertaining throwdowns I’ve ever seen in a summer blockbuster. Each of these superheroes is played by the same actor as in the previous Marvel Studios film (with the exception of The Hulk, now played by Mark Ruffalo). This helps to create a mostly intact sense of character and universe continuity that is absolutely necessary for this movie to work at all. Luckily, Joss Whedon is extremely talented when it comes to writing ensemble stories (see every show he’s ever done for evidence), and has a written a script that gives each and every one of them a handful of spectacular showcase moments and pitch-perfect dialog sequences. The cast is just as good as they’ve been in all the previous films, delivering the performances you’ve come to expect.

There is, of course, the exception of Mark Ruffalo. “The Incredible Hulk” starred Edward Norton in a quite decent turn as Bruce Banner, but creative disputes caused Norton to leave the franchise. Whedon has chosen to replace Norton with Ruffalo, a choice that I hope will pay off in future films as much as it pays off here. Ruffalo is a wonderful Bruce Banner, approaching the character with an underplayed sense of humor that helps mask his struggle with the danger he poses to himself and those around him. The handling of The Hulk in those sequences is also greatly improved from previous films, presenting a character that is dangerous and terrifying as well as heroic and smarter than he’s given credit for. The character is one of the biggest surprises of the film, and makes for some of the most entertaining moments in the massive setpieces that comprise the film’s action.

See? Action!

Speaking of the action, holy hell does this film deliver. If all you want out of “The Avengers” is a bunch of your favorite superheroes teaming up and occasionally fighting each other, you will not be disappointed. The setpieces are grand and satisfying, cleverly utilizing the characters’ abilities and showcasing some truly exciting match-ups. The third act, in particular, is wonderfully exciting, and features a terrific tracking shot that soars through the battle stopping by every single Avenger to watch them do their thing. There were more moments of uproarious applause in our theater than I’ve ever witnessed in a film before. The action is exactly what it should be; cleverly choreographed and full of crowd-pleasing money-shots.

The great thing about the movie, however, is that while it delivers on the action, what really makes it soar above and beyond the competition is how well it deals with the character moments. It’s a complete package for fans of the comics, fans of the movies, and fans of joy. Seriously, I was not aware my body could handle that much joy without shutting down. It’s kind of draining. The only negative I can really think of at the moment is that if you don’t have a built-in affection for the universe and the characters, the first half of the film might seem a bit slow or meandering. Even then, the scenes are entertaining and witty on their own, regardless of how much you already know about Tony Stark or Steve Rodgers. I’d recommend seeing the other Marvel Studios films if you haven’t, but I really have a hard time seeing how anyone could not enjoy “The Avengers.”

Early on in the film, Nick Fury and Steve Rodgers make a $10 dollar bet that they won’t be able to show Steve anything that won’t surprise or impress him. Marvel is asking moviegoers everywhere to make the same bet for just a little bit more, and it’s a bet that Marvel is going to win.

Oh and also, the movie is really good. Not sure I mentioned that.

For fans of Between the Buried and Me, The Black Dahlia Murder, and Opeth

I never expected Wretched’s 2010 sophmore release, Beyond the Gate, to be as good as it was. It was leaps and bounds ahead of its predecessor, The Exodus of Autonomy, and featured some of the most impressively original songwriting I had heard from an American death-metal band in a very long time. Well, the Northern Carolina metalheads have returned with their follow-up, Son of Perdition, last month, and though it may not be as huge a leap forward as Beyond the Gate was, it’s another strong offering from one of the most underrated emerging bands in death metal.

The thing that’s most apparent about Son of Perdition is how different the fundamental sound of the band changed with the addition of their new vocalist, Adam Cody. I never hated Billy Powers’ (Exodus of Autonomy, Beyond the Gate) vocal style, but it never called too much attention to itself, either. Cody is much more ambitious of a vocalist, sporting various different types of screams throughout the album, and demonstrating a much more aggressive style that often puts his screams front and center of the mix. I’m not 100% sure this is a good thing for this band. Now, let me get something out of the way; I’m not saying his vocals are bad by any means. Cody sports an incredible range from your standard low growls to high screams similar to Trevor Strnad (Black Dahlia Murder) and raspier shouts that  fondly reminded me of Robert Meadows of A Life Once Lost (they’re finally working on new album!!). My point is that with Powers’ more modest style, the songs focused almost solely on the incredible songwriting and skills of guitarists Steven Funderburk and John Vail. That being said, I think Cody showcased a strong debut, but I do think he steps on the guitarists’ toes just a tad on this release. I’m sure this is something that will iron itself out as the band members continue to get a feel for each other on future releases. Moving on!

Wretched – “Dilated Disappointed” 

What really makes Wretched stand out to me is their focus on dynamics, a point well-illustrated on Beyond the Gate. The band is never overly-technical, the songs are never focused on getting the most karate-kicks out of breakdowns. Instead, the musicians in this band are adept at bringing movements into songs, creating builds and swells, which truly demonstrates their skills far more than any 7-minute prove-it-core band ever could. Following the tradition set on Beyond the Gate, Son of Perdition also  rocks a three-part instrumental, “The Stellar Sunset of Evolution.” No sitars or symphonies this time, but I think we’ll make due. That’s got to be too hard to top.

This album has got a great mix of brutality and melody, with killer tracks like “At the First Sign of Rust” demonstrating both these elements hand in hand, which has some of the best headbanging moments on the album, even though most the first half is slow and ethereal. The intro melody in “Dream of Chaos” just might be the smoothest melody on the album, and in fact, every time that song comes on, I find myself checking which song it is because I always forget just how bad ass that intro is. Of course, this wouldn’t be a death metal album if it weren’t for juggernauts like the record’s opening (real) song, “Imminent Growth,” a relentless assault of blast beats, 16th notes, and face-shredding that really gets the album started on a good foot. It’s this carefully refined mix of heaviness and virtuosity  that makes albums like these difficult to put down.

Son of Perdition is a pretty short record though, clocking in just over 38 minutes. And although this album isn’t as much of a huge leap forward as their last was, Perdition is still a fantastic release from a band you owe it to yourself to know about.

-ivan.

I’m not going to lie, I’m fighting off a massive hangover today. The only music existing in my media library that can supplement how shitty I feel is the debut release from San Jose natives The Conceal, entitled Endless River | Stunted Prayer, which just hit the internet like a cheap whiskey-infused dirty bomb last Monday. Since then, my ears have been giving it a lot of attention and I am enthusiastically impressed by this new act coming from the South Bay (aka that place where a bunch of bands try to sound like Dredg, Circa Survive, and anything Post-Rock).

The Conceal is a reboot of Flood Peak, headed by Mike McClatchey (ex-Clearing Autumn Skies, Apiary, Early Graves) that features a few down-tuned, slower rehashes of songs from Flood Peak’s EP Filling Flasks along with mostly new material. This being said, anyone expecting The Conceal to be anything like its former incarnation will be in for a big surprise. Endless River | Stunted Prayer is a 45 minute masterpiece of doom, sludge, feedback, and industrial influenced shit-rock that brings a refreshing sense of creativity to heavy music. There is no mimicry or trend-following here, only trendsetting.

What is most impressive to me is the fact that this band focused all of its time and energy into writing, recording (with nothing more than Garage Band), and releasing a full LP before playing a single live show. The end result is an honest album with no influences from the outside world; a dark, intense, concrete face-beating that holds no punches. From the swelling breakdowns on the opening track, “A Final Song,” through the six-minute epic, “Gutted Sons,” all the way to the doom-filled conclusion “The Waiting,” listeners will be treated to a boot up their ass in the most disturbing fashion.

I’m particularly a fan of the wide range of influences that shine through on this album; it’s not quite metal, not quite rock, not quite industrial, not quite doom…you get the picture? Every song has something of its own to offer, whether it’s mechanized-breakdowns (“Dust Breeder”), southern-influenced crust-rock (“Endless River | Stunted Prayer”), haunting, ear-piercing feedback (“Meandering”), or rich soundscapes (“Wishing Knell”). What you get is a timeless opus that has no regard for the typical fodder that floods much of the music scene today. Endless River | Stunted Prayer could have been written 15 years ago as much as it could have been written today.

From a production standpoint, this is not a pretty sounding album. This is as DIY as it gets. Whereas some people may perceive the lack of production to be a weakness of the album, I see it as a strength that lends itself to a real sense of texture. These are songs with feeling and no amount of production can enhance their uniqueness. I’m not one of those critics who harps on the production value of a record because I firmly believe great songwriting cannot be replaced or enhanced with studio magic. Would I have liked the vocals to be a little louder? Sure, but who gives a shit? Endless River | Stunted Prayer is a cohesive work of art in which no single aspect or instrument stands out too dominantly. The bass tones at times sound like they were ripped straight out of Motorhead’s playbook and ran through an HM-2, which is not a bad thing at all. The guitars are thin but atmospheric with great crunch and character. Also notable on this outing is the evolution of Jake Wright’s vocals since the Flood Peak days. What used to be blood gargled screams are now complimented with gritty singing and thought-provoking lyrics that complement the dirtiness of the album very well.

If you’re looking to go out of your comfort zone and listen to some very inspired music, then I highly recommend downloading a copy of Endless River | Stunted Prayer, which comes with a full set of album artwork and lyrics (a great package in the day of digital releases). It’s only $5 and you can stream the entire thing, so don’t be a cheap ass and download the album elsewhere…support the DIY scene!

The Conceal will be making their live debut at Red House Studios in Walnut Creek this Thursday (4/26) at 7:00PM. Check them out and get your ears wrecked!

Check out The Conceal on Twitter or Facebook.

-BW

Few games come by and leave such a lasting and powerful impression on me and even less often can I say a game  moved me. I most certainly wouldn’t expect a game completely devoid of narrative, dialogue, and any co-op communication like ThatGameCompany’s newest downloadable epic, Journey, would be the one do it.

Maybe I’m a sucker for weird, artsy, abstract games (see my review for Limbo) but Journey really floored the little expectations I had for it. Like many others, I had heard the buzz that the game generated when it first came out exclusively for Playstation Plus subscribers more than a month ago. I was ready to buy the game then and there, but because of the game’s exclusivity, I wasn’t able to and almost completely forgot about it. I mean, is there still anyone that actually pays for that service? Anyway, the game was publicly released a few weeks after that, and I finally got the chance to check it out.

Journey starts you off as a nameless, red-cloaked wanderer in the middle of the desert. The game provides you with virtually no instruction whatsoever, but there’s a colossal mountain in the background shining a pillar of light into the sky, so you figure you should probably head toward it. You would be right to do so. Without giving much else away, the entire point of Journey is to get your character to that top of a lumbering summit way in the background of the screen by any means necessary. The terrain that you cover will be both serene and perilous as well as tranquil and frightening. That’s all I’m going to tell you about the game’s concept. Trust me when I say that the less you know about Journey walking into it, the more you might enjoy it.

What I will tell you is that Journey’s graphics are simply stunning. The environments in the game really are presented front and center, with massive and diverse landscapes zooming past you with incredible detail. The lighting and texture effects are some of the best I’ve seen, and the overall package of visuals rival those seen in the Uncharted series. That’s saying something. Add in the fact that this is a bite-sized download that’s only available on the PSN Store and that claim becomes even more impressive.

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The last thing I’ll tell you about Journey (I swear) is how seamless and incredible the game’s online co-op is. As long as your Playstation 3 is hooked up to the internet, you can expect to play the game through in a co-op manner. See, the game never asks you if you want to play with anyone else in the first place, and it doesn’t even let you choose who you play with. Instead, somewhere in the first couple of levels, you’ll see another creature that looks just like you walking through the levels as aimlessly as you are. The game provides you with no chat or hotkey communications or even any emoticon-like services to try and communicate anything with any level of sophistication to it. The only thing you have to communicate is a chiming sound that you emit when you push the circle button, and it totally works. Surprisingly, this little chime is all you’ll really need to signal to your companion. You’ll alert each other of danger, call your partner over to let them when you’ve found a secret, and check to make sure they’re not alright and not letting the stresses of the voyage get to them. What’s even more surprising is how well connected I felt with my companion at the end of the game. So well connected, in fact, we both sent each other messages over PSN at the same time talking about how great it was partnering up. The game lets you know who you’re playing with after the credits roll, allowing you to know who your companion was.

Speaking of the credits rolling, you’ll see them roll pretty quick. Journey is only about 2 hours long. Don’t let that deter you though, the game honestly provided me with one of the most refreshing, original, and profound experiences that I’ve had gaming in recent memory. The game is listed for $14.99 on the Playstation Store, which might seem a little over-priced with the game’s short runtime, but you won’t mind when it’s all said and done, trust me. This is one of those games that once you play it, you’ll want to tell everyone about it. Do yourself a favor and DO NOT miss out on this game. You won’t put it down until it’s over, I assure you (though that’s really not that hard to do in this case).

-ivan.

Anybody else see this and think of a really fucked up Magic Eye? No? Alright.

It’s hard to put into words how I feel about the new Meshuggah album, Koloss, but if I had to choose just one word to describe it, without a doubt, it’d be the word massive. From start to finish, Koloss is simply crushing, and there’s just something about the tones and grooves used on this record that will simply floor you. Koloss begs the question that many of Meshuggah’s albums have: how the HELL is Meshuggah going to top this?

Koloss is this weird mix of Obzen‘s aggressiveness mixed with Catch 33‘s dynamics, and a touch of Nothing’s groove. Songs like “The Demon’s Name Is Surveillance” demonstrate the relentless attack reminiscient of Obzen‘s “Bleed,” whereas songs like “Demiurge” and “Do Not Look Down” bring in some of the groove we heard back on Nothing, the latter easily being one of the most accessible tracks on the album. Well, as close as Meshuggah can get to being accessible, anyway.

Meshuggah – Break Those Bones Whose Sinews Gave it Motion

Though the faster breed of heaviness from the Chaosphere days may be long gone, Koloss further demonstrates the band’s new breed of brutality, if not perfects it. I feel like Koloss is the culmination of all the work Meshuggah has done since releasing Nothing. That album laid the foundation for the new Meshuggah sound, Catch 33 turned it on its head and introduced the slow, drawn-out approach to their songwriting, and Obzen brought the aggression back into the mix in full force. Put that all together and you have a devastating mix of sweet poly-rhythmic perfection.

If I had to narrow this album down to just one song that you absolutely NEED to hear, without a doubt, that song would be “Swarm,” one of the most chaotically mind-bending songs I’ve seen these Swedes put out in quite some time. “Swarm” isn’t the heaviest song on the album by any means, but its signature climbing riff reprised throughout the song is presented in several different ways — all of which are simply mesmorising.

Don't worry, these guys are the good kind of crazy. I think.

There’s little not to like about this album, but I do feel like the tracks “I Am Colossus” and the album’s instrumental closer, “The Last Vigil” might be a tad unnecessary. The former just doesn’t feel as multi-dimensional as everything else on the album; it chugs along at a moderate pace and doesn’t really have any shining moments. I mean, “I Am Colossus” is heavy and all, sure, but the rest of the album showcases something much more than that, so this one just feels a little weak in comparison. The latter just feels like a standard Meshuggah interlude, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I don’t think it really closes the album on a strong note.

Meshuggah find themselves in a odd place after such a fruitful and notorious career: a place of universal respect, respect among fans, from musicians, and from critics alike, which is a space shared by only the most elite of company. Of course, longtime Meshuggah fans have known for years that these jerks are on an entirely different level, and they’ve come back to re-establish that level with each release. The band’s poly-rhythmic influence has spread wide in today’s day and age; it’s often emulated and (unsuccessfully) replicated, and some even go as far as associating the group’s influence with the rise of the djent movement. Any way you slice it though, it’s hard to imagine what the metal scene would be like if it hadn’t been for them, and thanks to efforts like those found on this album, we won’t have to. Koloss is a statement that Meshuggah isn’t going anywhere any time soon.

Meshuggah is currently on tour supporting the new record, and will be in San Francisco May 6th. Tickets are going fast.

-ivan.

So maybe it was just wishful thinking that led us to believe Playstation was about to announce God Of War 4.  I was looking forward to seeing the next chapter in Kratos’ life, after the chaotic ending of the third game.  But it turns out we’ll never know what happens.  The teaser that Playstation put up on their Facebook page was in fact advertising a new God Of War game, but SURPRISE, it’s another prequel.  It’s safe to say that Sony has abandoned all hope for creating a fourth game.  However, this prequel is not going to be on the PSP or the PS Vita, like the other two prequels in the franchise.  It’s coming to PS3, giving Sony Santa Monica another chance to show how ridiculously amazing they are at making games.

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The announcement trailer is pretty straight-forward.  It shows Kratos being tormented (metaphorically) by all the bad shit that he’s done throughout his life.  As always, the trailer is narrated by Gaia, the Earth mother.  She mentions that before Kratos became the God of War, and before he became known as the “Ghost of Sparta,” he was just a man.  Those of you played the first game know that Kratos was a Spartan General before the proverbial shit hit the fan.  Along with that, it shows Kratos with his signature weapons in the franchise, the Blades of Chaos.  This might mean that we’ll see his transformation from an Army General into the Ghost of Sparta.  It’s all very vague, but that’s point of teaser trailers, right?

I’m a bit disappointed that this is another prequel, but I’m happy that it’s coming to PS3 for once.  Since it’s being made by the same geniuses who worked on the other games, I know it’s going to be amazing.  No release date has been given, so stay tuned for more news regarding God Of War Ascension.

On Wednesday, April 11th, PlayStation mysteriously changed their Facebook cover photo to this enigmatic image.  For those of you who can’t read (which is hopefully none of you, otherwise what are you doing on this site?), it says is big beautiful letters “Will Vengeance Bring Redemption? 04.19.12″  Rumors have been flying left and right about what it might represent, and about 90% of said rumors are pointing to God Of War 4. Why?  Well, if you’re familiar with Sony’s crowning franchise, you’d see the similarities.  Firstly, vengeance is what the God Of War trilogy centers around.  At the end of the third game, Kratos (the protagonist) finally gets his revenge he so desperately desires.  Secondly, it mentions redemption, which, if you played all three GOW games, you’d know is something that Kratos needs.

Anyone want to arm wrestle?

If that’s not enough to convince you, take a look at the font they chose to use.  It looks pretty similar to what is used for the God Of War games.  And finally, the golden-brown color scheme has been a mainstay in the franchise since its inception on the PS2.  To top it off, Sony’s reality TV show The Tester just finished its third season, and the winner was hired as a QA tester for “Sony Santa Monica’s next big blockbuster.”  Interesting.  Sony Santa Monica is the studio that made (you guessed it) God Of War.

Don’t take this as an official announcement for God Of War 4, nothing is concrete yet.  Hell, for all we know, this could end up being a teaser for the next MotorStorm game.  But all evidence points to Kratos’ next adventure, and if the rumors are true, this is a HUGE deal.  We’ll find out on Thursday next week what it all means.  Until then, we can only drive ourselves crazy with anticipation.

What do you think it represents?  Begin the arguments in the comments section below!

I’m one of those people that finds it very difficult to resist the draw of a good coming-of-age story. Something about tales of young people discovering who they are and what it’s like to be a part of the “real world” really gets to me, particularly if they’re presented with style and a unique voice. Therefore, I was very excited when I heard the rumblings of a great one making the rounds at film festivals a year or so ago. That film was “Submarine,” and it’s now available on Netflix Instant Streaming, allowing me to finally check it out for myself. If you’re wondering how much I loved this movie, read all about it after the break!

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“Submarine” is the story of Welsh 15-year-old Oliver Tate as he attempts to solve the universal problem of figuring out how to get laid. He navigates these dangerous waters by making astute observations, taking studious notes, and eventually setting plans in motion that utilize his findings. He applies logic whenever possible, trying his absolute best to play himself up and gain the interest of a classmate named Jordana. Meanwhile, his parents’ dying marriage is put in danger by the recent appearance of his mother’s old flame, and he uses similar strategies to try and save their relationship.

Wouldn't YOU want to stop this guy from banging your mom?

Written and directed by Richard Ayoade (who you may know as Moss from the British sitcom The IT Crowd), the film absolutely oozes style. While it shares many stylistic similarities to the films of Wes Anderson (as well as the films that influenced Anderson, chiefly “Harold and Maude” in this case), it manages to find a voice all its own. This is largely thanks to the tremendous script by Ayoade, which is adapted from the novel by Joe Dunthorne with whimsical cinematic flair. The dialog is witty and engaging, and the narrative structure follows a classical and clearly demarcated act structure. The cinematography and editing compliments the film’s dry sense of humor beautifully and makes for a wonderfully melancholy aesthetic atmosphere.

Featuring original score by Andrew Hewitt and a slew of beautiful original songs by Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys, the soundtrack is exactly the kind of lovelorn fair you might expect from a great coming-of-age film. It matches the quiet, dreary tone of suburban Wales, contributing to the very personal nature of an intimate character story such as this. Music is an important part of appealing to the romantic in all of us, and the film even highlights this explicitly in a scene where Oliver’s father gives him a mix tape upon finding out that he has a girlfriend. In that light, the success of the soundtrack is a tremendously important one.

Perhaps even more important than the music is the performance of the protagonist, and Craig Roberts does a phenomenal job as Oliver Tate. Oliver is a great character that wants to approach everything with logic and sensibility but is often confronted with the harsh emotional reality of other people’s lives. It forces him to confront his own emotions (as any great coming-of-age story should), and Roberts handles the subtlety and awkwardness of such moments fabulously. He’s never too cold or too affected, either of which could have easily happened in a less sure-footed performance. He also handles the comedy brilliantly, delivering a very well-written script with confidence (or lack thereof, when necessary).

WILL THEY HOLD HANDS? You'll have to watch the film to find out!

“Submarine” is my favorite coming of age film since “Rushmore,” which is one of my absolute favorite films. They’re similar in many ways, but Ayoade manages to carve out a unique directorial voice that I’m very excited to see more of in the future. His script is tremendous as well, and I would love to see what he could do with original material. I do hope that this film does for Craig Roberts what “Rushmore” did for Jason Schwartzman, though. I highly recommend it to anyone who would enjoy this sort of thing, which is to say anyone with a soul.

If you do watch it, I recommend playing “Spot the Stiller.” No, the executive producer credit doesn’t count.

On a night of exciting season premieres (Game of Thrones, The Killing), I’ve decided to keep my focus trained on the continuing efforts of AMC’s period epic, Mad Men. Earlier tonight, we were treated to the fifth season’s sophomore episode, “Tea Leaves.” While it may not be clear exactly where this season is headed just yet, there are definite traces of the series’ characteristic slow burn. Check out my spoiler-filled thoughts and comment with your own after the break!

This week, we finally got caught up with Betty, who is still married to Henry Francis. The break did not treat her well, unfortunately, and we are shown almost immediately that she has gained a noticeable amount of weight. It is unclear at first exactly why this is, but we soon learn that there are potential complications with her thyroid. Ouch. Meanwhile, the fine folks at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce are still trying to satisfy their clientele, chiefly the Heinz account and the acquisition of Mohawk airlines.

These served as the main plot threads of the episode and lead to some interesting situations. I’ve never really cared much for Betty as a character, as she often comes off as childish and vindictive. That said, I think the writers are setting her off on a relatively interesting arc this season. Forcing her to finally face her own mortality seems to be having a profound effect on her sense of vanity (as seen by the final moments of the episode where she finishes Sally’s sundae). We can’t really be sure how this will play out in the long term, especially given the results of her thyroid testing, but I’m intrigued to find out what this means for her as a character.

The other major thread of the episode concerned Don and Harry’s attempt to secure the Rolling Stones as spokesband for Heinz beans. This thread brought me great joy. The conception of the idea at the dinner party seemed all too believable as the means for which many such ad campaigns come about. The entire subplot worked beautifully as an illustration of how easy it is for even the most culture-savvy businessman (Harry) can have their plans surreptitiously thwarted by being woefully out of touch. It’s probably something that happens throughout ad agencies even today, and the eventual train wreck should appeal to everyone’s sense of schadenfreude.

Oh, yeah. We can totally get the Rolling Stones to do your stupid-ass jingle. They need the money, right?

In addition to all of this, the acquisition of Mohawk airlines required SCDP to hire a new permanent copy writer. While the setup for this subplot involved one of my favorite lines of the season thusfar (Peggy’s “I’ll work on that” comeback), I was quite pleasantly surprised by Michael Ginsberg. From his slimy personality readjustment to his lonely home life, I have a feeling that his presence on the show will make for some fantastic moments in the coming episodes. His dialog was snappily written, and I think he’s going to end up as a sort of wild card among the First Class gang. I’m really looking forward to what the writers are planning to do with him as the season unfolds.

I'm just gonna go ahead and stick with Wildcard for his codename...bitches.

Overall, this was a solid episode that was qualitatively in line with what I’ve come to expect from Mad Men. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to watch Paul F. Tompkins live-tweet the Game of Thrones premiere.

Guys, those are weapons behind her. Lots of weapons. So start paying attention.

I’m not really sure what started Suzanne Collin’s “The Hunger Games” growing association with the “Twilight” flicks or when exactly having a female protagonist meant that a movie was a chick-flick. Besides the horrendous merchandising decisions (as evident on T-shirts sold across web stores nationwide), the two hit-books-to-hit-film adaptations don’t have all that much in common. Sure, they both star a brunette female protagonist. I guess there are two male characters that can be perceived as love interests — though they’re not, really (at least, not at first) — but that’s where the similarities end. Granted, I don’t know two shits about “Twilight,” though that’s mainly because I have no interest in them whatsoever. But let me set the record straight: “The Hunger Games” is not a a cheesy chick flick with glitter and men that make up for their lack of being able to keep on their shirts with having excessive pecs. Though Gary Ross’s screenplay falls short in a few minor areas compared to the book it’s based on, this is an incredibly well-made and true to its roots flick that you have to check out.

“The Hunger Games” takes place the country of Panem, a nation of twelve districts ruled by the strict and unforgiving hand of the governing Capitol. As punishment for the Districts unsuccessful attempt to overthrow the Capitol, the Capitol will select two children between the ages of 12 and 18 at an annual “reaping,” one male and one female, to be put into an arena to fight to the death. This is the story of Katniss Everdeen, a 16-year old girl selected from the coal-mining District 12, as she fights to stay alive in the 74th Annual Hunger Games.

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The film’s biggest shortcoming is not giving enough background on Katniss’ life before the reaping. The movie never quite dives into how dire things really were in the districts. Most people fought starvation and disease daily in the districts, while the people of the Capitol celebrated a life of indulgence and glamour. But the symbolism mirroring our own social divides isn’t the only thing that’s lost because of the rushed set-up. A huge part of who Katniss is is lost without the depth of her history. After an accident in the coal mines kills her father, Katniss is forced to accept responsibility for her family by hunting for food, bartering in the black marked named The Hob, and protecting her younger sister, Prim. When her efforts aren’t enough to fend off starvation, Katniss, like most other children in the districts, are allowed to enter their names multiple times into the reapings in exchange for extra rations of bread. This is barely brushed over in the film, so moviegoers that hadn’t read the book probably won’t pick up on that point much, if at all. A brief exchange between Katniss and her longtime companion Gale about how many times each of their names are in the drawing loses much of its weight because of the poor explanation.

I had a feeling that intro was rough so that the film could nail the rest of the story, and that it did. “The Hunger Games” meets just about every other expectation I had for it. Having read the trilogy of books in the weeks that preceded the film’s release, the bar was set pretty high. What’s great about this adaptation is that you can still enjoy it on its own as a film having not read the source material. “The Hunger Games” delivers perfect pacing, balancing intense action scenes with emotion-filled drama and more of Seneca Crane than anyone expected. That particularly was fine with me though, the extra scenes provided some good insight on the inner-mindset of the Capitol, and I mean, have you seen how bad ass Seneca’s beard was? Overall, I thought the casting as a whole was fantastic. Jennifer Lawrence was a surprisingly powerful Katniss, and even minor characters like Foxface (Jacqueline Emerson) were portrayed so perfectly that I knew exactly who they were even before they were introduced. They couldn’t have found a more charming actress to play Rue, either (Amandla Stenberg), though her and a few others are at the forefront of some terribly unfortunate racial attacks across the internet.

This ain't your grandpappy's Hunger Games.

That brings me to another point: Many of the movie-goers (or potential movie-goers) that haven’t read the book may be initially put off by the flamboyance of the Capitol, but this is actually done on purpose. The Capitol is often regarded as fashion-obsessed, often substance-addicted, and just plain gaudy, and I think the costume designers nailed that presentation on the head. Some of the Capitol citizens made me downright uncomfortable with how outlandishly they were presented.

All in all, “The Hunger Games” delivers an incredible story that just barely falls short of its original medium, but it still provides an excellent experience for both those who have read the stories and those that haven’t. It also goes to show how far the art of good source material can go, as “The Hunger Games” finished up its first weekend at the box office with the third best debut weekend ever, raking in a cool $155 million in the process (coming up behind only “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 2″ and “The Dark Knight,” both sequels mind you, which is a statement in itself).

So guys, go see it, there’s plenty of action and gore to to keep your bloodlust quenched and just enough sparks to make your girl do that adorable “awwww” that we all love.

-ivan.

After a couple of weeks off due to complete, inescapable entrenchment in following the Mass Effect 3 controversy, my weekly Netflix Pick feature HAS RETURNED! I know, I know… You were all just stuck having absolutely nothing to watch because you are unable to decide for yourselves, and for that I apologize. I, myself, had a bit of trouble deciding what to watch this week, so I deferred to the “Top 10 for Darren” section of my PS3 Netflix interface. Of the recommended titles, I was most intrigued by an odd-sounding documentary entitled “Shut Up Little Man!” Was Netflix right to have the audacity to recommend this film to my discerning tastes? FINDOUTAFTERTHEBREAK!

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“Shut Up Little Man!” is a documentary about a couple of young men (Eddie Lee Sausage and Mitch Deprey) who moved to San Francisco in 1987, only to discover that their next door neighbors had a penchant for shouting obscenities at each other loudly and frequently. The nature of these shouting matches were so bizarre that Eddie and Mitch felt compelled to record them in case they needed to have documented evidence if things ever got threatening. When it ended up not being especially threatening to their livelihoods, they found that they wanted to continue recording these disputes out of pure fascination.

An early picture of Eddie and Mitch (respectively). Still not entirely sure if Sausage is Eddie's real last name.

What makes the relationship of these neighbors so interesting is how very little sense it makes that they are able and willing to live together. These men (Ray Huffman and Peter Haskett) are like a real life Odd Couple fueled by drunken rages. Ray Huffman is a vaguely Southern homophobe with a tendency to threaten murder, and Peter Haskett is described by some as a “bitchy old queen.” Late into the night, Ray and Peter would become terribly drunk and yell at each other loudly and constantly, usually including the phrase “Shut up, little man!” shouted repeatedly by Peter.

The documentary starts with interviews with Eddie and Mitch intercut with dramatic re-enactments set to their recordings of Ray and Peter and does so with a mildly whimsical style that is quite engaging and entertaining. Eventually, we learn about how these recordings ended up getting passed around like some sort of cassette-based rage virus, resulting in a slow-acting explosion of fans who find extreme, voyeuristic delight in listening to these two old men yell at each other (including people such as comic artist/writer Daniel Clowes).

From that point forward, the documentary becomes an enjoyable and fascinating examination of what constitutes creative ownership. As these recordings became more and more popular, there emerged a few different attempts to dramatize the relationship of Ray and Peter. This resulted in a variety of legal questions regarding who precisely had the rights to the story, if anyone at all, and whether or not it was even morally or ethically “right” to capitalize on these recordings. By the end, the film does a fine job looking at how these events played out, as well as seeking out some new information about the entire affair. The story of everything involves some really intriguing turns near the end that I do not want to spoil but are very strange and exciting to see.

A great example of the film's stylistic approach to describing certain undocumented events (in case you were wondering if Peter Haskett is actually a cartoon).

Overall, it’s a great documentary with an engaging sense of style. It’s my absolute favorite kind of documentary; one that tells a very personal, human story that prompts some fantastic discussion about the larger issues at hand. In the case of this particular documentary, it features the former more heavily than the latter, which does work in favor of entertainment value without completely sacrificing too much depth of thematic exploration.

It’s an easy recommendation to anyone who doesn’t give a fuck about profanity.

The D is back.

The Tenacious fucking D is back.

After more than 5 long, rockless years since Tenacious D’s power-sliding epic The Pick of Destiny hit shelves, The D have returned to bring the masses what it needs the most: Rize of the Fenix. And because everything Tenacious D must be done at 11, they’ve put together this amazing video to announce their return to form. Watch it. Watch it now.

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Rize of the Fenix will be out in stores May 15th, and the band has already announced a short tour immediately after the album’s release. They’ll hit the Fox Theater in Oakland May 24th.

Additionally, you can check out the title track from the upcoming album on the band’s Soundcloud here.

You’re welcome.

-ivan.

If you’re a fan of the British sci-fi series Doctor Who, you’re probably as excited as I am about this season of interstellar adventures. After last season’s cliffhanger, fans are on fire with the possibilities that lie ahead. After an update from executive producer Steven Moffat, the two loyal companions to the Doctor (Matt Smith), Amelia Pond (Karen Gillan) and Rory Williams (Arthur Darvill), will be leaving the Doctor’s side after the 5th episode of the upcoming 7th season. But who will replace them? Another duo? A friend from the past? Or a completely new face?

Although fans (myself included) are madly in love with the characters Amelia and Rory, we all knew that they couldn’t remain by the Doctor’s side forever. Even Sarah Jane Smith had to go at some point. So who will come to replace our dynamically brilliant pair of space-time travelers? None other than actress Jenna-Louise Coleman.

She may not be a familiar face to American fans, but Coleman starred in the BBC soap opera Emmerdale. You might have even seen her play the small role of Connie in the 2011 release of Captain America: The First Avenger. Her past aside, fans are more concerned with her bright new future beside the Doctor. The name of her character, origin, and personality are all being withheld from the media.

“It’s not often the Doctor meets someone who can talk even faster than he does, but it’s about to happen,” Moffat said in a press statement. “Jenna is going to lead him on his merriest dance yet. And that’s all you’re getting for now. Who she’s playing, how the Doctor meets her, and even where he finds her, are all part of one of the biggest mysteries the Time Lord ever encounters. Even by the Doctor’s standards, this isn’t your usual boy-meets-girl.”

Matt Smith’s seasons of Doctor Who have only grown in popularity and prowess, but how will this new, fast-talking companion hold up in comparison to The Girl Who Waited and The Last Centurion? We can only wait and see. After five episodes of the 7th season, Miss Jenna-Louise Coleman will be taking center stage.

For being brilliant and clever, here’s a sneak peek of the 7th season. And remember: stetsons are cool.

I recently took the time to catch up on Mad Men, AMC’s critical and populous smash hit, by watching all four previous seasons on Netflix Instant Watch. Luckily, I managed to do so in time for the series’ eagerly anticipated return earlier tonight. We here at Wrecked have been wanting to branch out, content-wise, so I’ve decided to take advantage of Mad Men‘s heated, two hour re-entry into the pop culture atmosphere and start a series of episode reaction articles. Safe to say, spoilers and personal opinions after the break.

Something I greatly admired about each new season of the series is how handily it deals with the passage of time between the current season and its predecessor. Season five is no different, picking up a year or so after the ending of season four. We are now some time into the marriage of Don and Megan, Joan has a baby boy, and Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce seems to be doing much better for themselves. Pete and Trudy are also new parents, and we got a few scenes depicting Pete’s life as a commuter (a subtle arc that I felt was explored quite well).

The episode was double-stuffed, clocking in at just over two hours of airtime. While the complete episode certainly had a definite overall arc, each hour was nicely partitioned into two major sub-arcs. The first hour was largely concerned with catching up with the core characters, culminating in a surprise birthday party that Megan decided to throw for Don. All of the major characters except for Joan were in attendance, and we spent a significant amount of time within the awkward party atmosphere. Don was really not into the whole surprise party thing, but I felt like the writers and art department did a characteristically stellar job in crafting an honest depiction of the period, full of casual racism/sexism and discussions of “domino theory.”

Seriously, sixties, what the fuck is up with that suit? Why worry about racism when there's this.

Alongside the birthday party plot, we also get to see the younger staff (Mad-Men: First Class, as I like to call them) deal with the new Heinz beans account. As has consistently been the case with this show, the actual advertising business scenes are some of my personal favorite. I find the reasoning behind each ad design wonderfully fascinating and the discussions about their effectiveness equally so. I felt the sequence with the Heinz ad worked quite nicely, as it illustrated yet again how much the advertising mentality has changed since those days. The “bean ballet” ad sounded like something that would have no problem finding its way onto television screens today. Whether that says something positive or negative about advertising today is something I have yet to decide, but I’m leaning toward negative.

Mad-Men: First Class. Codenames from the left: Hubris, Punchcard, and Inkwell. Not gonna lie; I'd read those comics in a heartbeat.

The second half of the episode is a bit more meandering, wrapping up the handful of disconnected subplots left lingering after the party. I found Lane’s subplot odd and uncomfortable but quite interesting. Between the taxi scene and the final scene of the episode, we got a great sense of his bizarre, extremely polite racism. The scene where he has that awkwardly sexy conversation over the phone with that lady was quite uncomfortable to watch, if only because we have to sit through his bumbling attempts at being naughty.

As for the rest of the characters, we pick up with them pretty much where you’d expect. Roger is still a total douchebag, and his relationship with Pete is just as hilariously whiny as ever. I like Lane’s relationship with Joan, and I hope they don’t try to force a salacious affair on it. I think they’ve got quite an endearing bromance going on, and I feel like any sexiness would come off as forced and unnecessary.

Overall, it wasn’t a particularly bombastic premiere, but Mad Men has never been a particularly bombastic show. Not much has changed, but the writing and acting is just as classy as ever. Feel free (encouraged, even) to share your own thoughts in the comments.

Plus, the opener featured an appearance by Dominic Dierkes of DERRICK Comedy. I can not overstate how happy this made me.

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The group recently released their new album “OF Vol.2,” but it looks like they had more planned then just making music. Fans of the rap group probably aren’t surprised with the release of their new television show due to the number of hilarious videos OFWGKTA post on their Youtube channel. From what I’ve seen, they’ll fit right in with the rest of the insane Adult Swim lineup.

The show premieres tonight at 11:30pm, pst.

For the last few months, Ghostbusters fans have been following the news about the possible release of a third film. Dan Aykroyd has been releasing monthly updates on the progress of the movie, but it’s still at a very early stage.  The script is still being tweaked and modified, production and finances don’t seem to be an issue, but one major road block stands in the way: Bill Murray.

Murray has officially turned down offers to rejoin his old cast and crew on this project. He’s given no official comment to the press, but Aykroyd has mentioned Murray’s feelings to the news. Dan has stated:

“At this point it’s in suspended animation. The studio, the director Ivan Reitman and [co-star] Harold Ramis feel there must be a way to do it, but Bill Murray will not do the movie. He doesn’t want to be involved.”

So will there be another action packed, ghostbusting adventure on the big screen? At this point it seems likely. Just don’t get your hopes up when it comes to seeing Venkman alongside Stantz and Spengler. Murray is sitting this one out and I have a feeling that his decision is going to hurt the movie’s chances of doing well in the box office.

FemShep doesn't get nearly enough play. SHE'S JUST AS BADASS, Y'ALL.

In 2007, Bioware and Microsoft Studios introduced the world to the sprawling science-fiction universe of Mass Effect, a vast, story-driven action/RPG. In 2010, Bioware brought us the much anticipated sequel with the aid of publishing behemoth Electronic Arts. Mass Effect 2 was a much leaner, more action-focused experience, stripping out many of the dense RPG mechanics in favor of streamlining the cover-based action mechanics. The constant in the Mass Effect series, however, has always been a notable attention to detail in the story, lore, and character; something Bioware has been known for as a studio for quite some time. Just this past week, Bioware and EA released the final game in their epic space-faring action/RPG trilogy, Mass Effect 3. Does it go out in a blaze of glory, or retreat disappointingly into the darkness?

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Mass Effect 3 finds the heroic Commander Shepard on the cusp of a massive invasion. The incomprehensibly powerful Reapers (giant, ship-like synthetic creatures with an unwavering penchant for wiping out all organic life in the galaxy every 50,000 some-odd years) arrive at Earth during the game’s explosive opening sequence, bringing the might of a seemingly unbeatable wave of destruction and death. Shepard manages to escape Earth, but not without being reinstated into the Alliance military force and charged with the responsibility of uniting the many races of the Milky Way galaxy under a single banner so that any of them might have a chance of not, you know, going really fucking extinct.

Gameplay-wise, this challenge manifests itself as the collection of “war assets.” Shepard travels from star system to star system, helping the various alien races in their own struggles against the Reapers, gaining their trust and their promise of aid in the war. The amount of these “war assets” you’ve discovered determines what choices will be available to you during the game’s finale. You can lower the minimum war assets necessary for the “best” ending by playing Mass Effect 3‘s cooperative multiplayer mode, but there are enough war assets available in single player that this is in no way necessary.

Don’t think for a moment, though, that this means you’ll be spending most of the game flying around space playing politics. It is still very much a shooter, and the shooting mechanics are tighter than ever before. Gone are the slow-moving, stick-to-cover-and-wait mechanics of ME2. Now Shepard runs faster and has the ability to dodge-roll from danger. While you will be doing plenty of sticking to cover, the addition of enemy grenade spam and more open level design forces you to adopt a more mobile strategy. While I wish Bioware had stolen Uncharted 3‘s grenade throwback mechanic, the action is still more furious and exciting than ever before in the series.

The much improved melee options also make for some interesting changeups, should you choose to work it into your tactics.

“But wait a minute!” you may be indignantly shouting at this review right now, “The LAST time Bioware upped the action, the RPG elements fell by the wayside! WHAT SAY YOU?” I was getting to that; don’t be rude. While Mass Effect 3 still doesn’t have a full-on inventory system, it has a far more robust gear system than its predecessor. The weapons, in particular, are very open to player customization, and there are a LOT of them. Each weapon can receive a handful of base upgrades as well as a variety of weapon mods that allow you to tailor each gun to maximize your own unique playstyle. Armor is less varied than the weapons arsenal but still allows for plenty of player preference and customization.

In addition to the vastly improved gear mechanics, class powers have been given a sweet, sweet injection of more player choice as well. Every skill has six ranks and the last three provide two options the player can choose from. When you roll all of these choices together, you get an overall experience that really allows the player to build their Shepard however the hell they want. This transitions nicely into a discussion about Shepard from a story perspective, as the game also has a much-improved morality system.

No longer must Mass Effect players feel confined to the options of good-natured Paragon or brutal Renegade; the new system allows players to explore shades of grey. As Shepard makes decisions, you gain reputation points. Some actions provide points that influence your Paragon/Renegade score, but others just give general reputation points that simply increase the already-present ratio between those extremes. It frees the player up to make whatever choices they want while still increasing Shepard’s conversational prowess.

That wouldn’t matter, however, if those choices were part of a bland or uninteresting story. Luckily, I found Mass Effect 3‘s story to be wonderfully engaging from start to finish. I played the game on the PS3, and I imported my Paragon FemShep adept from ME2. Those who have played that game know that any of the squad members can die in its final moments, and I had lost a couple on that playthrough. This allowed me to see a combination of returning characters and replacements in ME3, and I was disappointed in neither. Returning characters make appearances of varying importance, but they all feel very well suited to who those characters are and where we left them in previous games. New characters may feel unwelcome and forced at first, but as you play through the game and get to know them, you’ll find their unique personalities intriguing and often endearing.

Bros to the end. Yes, Liara's a bro, too. She's a pretty badass bro, actually. And a doctor. Beat that.

There’s been quite a bit of complaining on the internet about the game’s ending. I was aware of these complaints as I was in the process of playing the game, and I was cautiously dreading what might be awaiting me in the game’s finale. When I finally did reach it, I was very pleasantly surprised. The final sequences of Mass Effect 3 are incredibly tense and cinematic. Every passing moment was more suspenseful than the last, and the big final choice did not at all end up being what I expected it to be. I found the ending to be rather beautiful, and I didn’t feel cheated. I look forward to seeing how Bioware plans on adding to the story of the universe through future DLC.

As incredible an experience as I had with Mass Effect 3, it’s not without its flaws. I ran into a handful of tremendously annoying bugs, including squad member mysteriously disappearing before a major boss fight and odd graphical freakouts. I also had issues with the game’s quest journal, which is far less intuitive than the previous game’s. The game’s release has also been tarnished by an unfortunate day-one DLC debacle. I’ll tell you right now, I got the DLC (which includes a squad member whose very nature is considered a spoiler). I found it to be not nearly as big of a deal as people were afraid it would be. It’s really interesting content, but it’s in no way necessary to plot of the game. It’s really only interesting if you’re a huge fan of the series’ universe (in which case it is quite interesting, indeed), although I do think the $9.99 price point is a bit steep.

Despite all this, I believe that Mass Effect 3 is an astounding experience. Bigger, more cinematic, and more exciting than its predecessors, it’s the kind of game that illustrates the towering potential of interactive entertainment as a narrative medium. Full of gorgeous, moody art direction and an achingly melancholy score by the great Clint Mansell, it has a fantastic aesthetic atmosphere. It’s a story about how wartime affects everyone. It’s a story about whether or not the cyclicality of history can be avoided. It’s a story about personal relationships and how important they become when all else seems lost. It’s a story about Commander Shepard, whoever you decide that is.

It’s the end of one of my favorite stories in the history of science fiction, and it is glorious.

Longtime readers of Wrecked or Bay Area locals should be familiar with Casket of Cassandra. In case you need a reminder, Casket of Cassandra, the female-fronted metalcore outfit from Concord, was featured on our site when they played the Bay Area Metal Fest last summer, put on by our good buddies in Nemesis Records. Well, we take our eyes off these guys for a minute, and Nemesis ends up signing Casket of Cassandra behind our backs. Where’s our record deal, Nemesis? Whatever, any music we’d put together would just be too progressive and too ahead of its time. It’s cool.

Anyway, Nemesis has agreed to let us stream Casket of Cassandra’s new single exclusively on Wrecked for a short period of time. Check it out after the jump.

“Breathless” is the first single released from the upcoming debut album, Embracing the Void, due out this June. The band is expected to support the album with some tour dates after the release. We’ll let you know about those details as they arise. Already you can hear a huge sense of maturity that’s developed in Casket’s songwriting since their last release, and it sounds like the production value on this album is a huge step up as well.

Dig what you heard? Well, it only gets better. “Breathless” will be available as a FREE DOWNLOAD on Nemesis Records’ website starting Saturday, March 10th. Make sure you remember to head over that way to get it while it’s hot.

Check out their official music video for “To Fear One’s Self” from the 2009 EP, The Makings of a False Truth.

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-ivan.