Get Dirty. Get Ike’s.
Monday, April 4, 2011 2 Comments
A sandwich is easily the most versatile food. Nearly any ingredient can be eaten on or properly paired with a sandwich, but how often is a sandwich so good it makes you feel like you can see God? With only 3 locations, not often enough.
I first heard if Ike’s Place from my sister Deanna, who lives in San Francisco, the day before we went to a Giants game. She said, “Hey jerk, I’m picking sandwiches before the game and you have to tell me what you want.” I’m thinking, “Quiznos, Subway, shit like that, right? Fuck that!” She continued to persuade me, “Oh my god, they’re so good, but we have to call it in so go to their website and tell me what you want. And you’re getting it extra dirty!” Uhh…okay? Whatever that means.
So, I check out their website and I was speechless. There are over a couple hundred varieties of sandwiches! Going through the menu and trying to pick something is like going through someone else’s iPod when you don’t know what you want to listen to. Once you’re sure you’ve picked the cornucopia of sandwiches, a few choices down is something that sounds much better, so you switch. See the dilemma?
I settled on the “Super Mario”, which contains beef meatballs, mozzarella sticks, and marinara sauce. MOZZARELLA STICKS?! Just thinking about it makes your heart hurt but your taste buds sing a power ballad. As instructed, I got my sandwich extra dirty, and dammit, my sister was right for once. I’ll explain: they have signature a sauce called “dirty sauce”, basically a garlic aioli-based sauce loaded with secret spices and ingredients, that is so good I would be happy to choke to death on it. They put it on every single sandwich they make.
Yesterday, I took the entire Wrecked Reviews Crüe to Ike’s Place in San Francisco (near The Castro) to pop their sandwich cherry. This time I went with the “Sanchez College Prep”, made with halal chicken, BBQ sauce, and cheddar cheese; from my research, halal basically means a certain cut and specific way of butchering the animal. Whatever it is, it tastes amazing. Once again, my taste buds felt like they beat Zeus in Street Fighter (ultras on both wins). Regardless of this place having made its way on to TV and newspapers, almost all of my fellow Wreckers had never heard of it and looked like they were expecting a Quiznos or Togo’s-type sandwich just like I did. I even found myself describing it just like my sister, “Oh my god, it’s amazing, make sure you get it extra dirty, etc.” They were absolutely blown away. Every conversation on the ride home eventually lead to how Ike’s was so good it made them have a sandwich orgasm.
Bottom line, this place sucks because it makes you hate every sandwich you’ll have for the next month. You’ll crave it and experience symptoms of withdrawal. I heard some people perform sexual favors just to smell the breath of someone who recently ate an Ike’s sandwich.
Wrecked Rating: 4.5 / 5
The only reason they lost that .5 was because of how busy they are, which is understandable because business comes with popularity. If you walk in, you might wait anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour, depending on the time of day. My suggestion is to check out the website, somehow choose a sandwich from their delicious selection, call in at least an hour or two early, tell them what you want and what time you’ll pick it up. That way, you go in, pay, get your food, shove it in your mouth, and ascend to a new plane of existence.