BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

This meal is more than meets the eye. I'll give you a hint: it's booze.

Breakfast rules. But how often do you really have time to make some? Well, only if something sounds delicious enough, do you actually make a conscious effort to make time for it. If you’ve ever been on the internet, you’ve probably noticed the Epic Meal Time videos, specifically, their breakfast video. Getting drunk off pancakes? Yes, please. You get the gist of how to make stuff from the video, but here’s some detailed instructions on how to achieve that level of morning glory. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t love getting whiskey’d and beer’d at 9 in the morning?

In order to do this, I turn you over to a girl who loves food and booze almost as much as me. (I say almost because I don’t believe you’re full until you hate yourself.) Take it away, Johnna:

So first off, be warned! If you make this, be sure you don’t have anywhere to go for a while because I can get you a little or, if you are like Fernando and have 4 bottles of syrup in the pantry, quite a bit drunk. (Eating pancakes that don’t get me buzzed is the most disappointing thing ever now. -Fernando)

Epic Meal Time created the Breakfast of Booze. We didn’t really want to do the whole thing, but some of the bits seem pretty freakin’ awesome. We decided that we needed to have the Candied Bacon, the Jack Daniel’s syrup, and Guinness Chocolate Chip pancakes.

Candied Bacon:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Get a cookie sheet out and cover it in aluminum foil. This makes it super easy to clean up in the end, because the bacon gets really sticky. Lay your favorite type of bacon out across the sheet so that they don’t overlap. Cover in brown sugar. Yet again, pick your favorite, we used light brown sugar. Once the oven is preheated, cook for a half hour. I was preheating and cooking this so that by the time we were done with everything else, the bacon was just finishing up. Om nom. Delicious. Fernando wanted to make a lollipop out of this stuff it is so good. (It’s like giving bacon an orgasm. When it cools off, it almost has the consistency of a candy cane. Also, it’s even better the next day. The only reason I didn’t eat it all that morning is because I had a mild heart attack. Heart failure can’t keep me from doing this again. -Fernando)

Mmm... bacon...

Jack Daniel’s Maple Syrup:

The Wrecked Crüe’s liquor of choice! This stuff was stupid easy to make, especially since we had a half of a bottle of Jack lying around. Take 1 part Jack and 1 part of your favorite syrup. We used Aunt Jemima’s Country Butter Blend because Fernando didn’t want to sacrifice his Eggo syrup if our endeavor went bad. Heat them together over medium heat til well blended. Pour back into bottle like a boss. DONE. (Not to mention, how awesome does it look pouring something from a bottle of Jack on your pancakes? It ends up tasting like candied Jack Daniels. Yes, it’s incredible with the bacon. -Fernando)

Guinness Chocolate Chip Pancakes:

When it comes to pancakes, I am a big, fat slacker. I pick up the Krusteaz Pancake mix that you just add water to. It’s delicious and easy. It took some time figuring out the ratio, but it’s about one cup of Guinness to one cup of pancake mix. (Drink any and all leftover beer. -Fernando) The mix is a really frothy, disturbingly dark brown color and smells of booze, but I promise you it will all work out in the end. Add as many chocolate chips as you want but you probably shouldn’t let Fernando choose how much. When you ask, “Is this enough?” he will always say, “More”. Cook on medium heat till the bubbles are all popped and the top has little gloss to it, and flip. I always peek to see how they look before, because I was always told to only flip a pancake once. Getting to the right “done” stage is a little tricky because they start at the done color of normal pancakes. Put it on a plate, cover it with butter and your newly concocted Jack syrup and enjoy the morning. (And the ensuing heart attack. It’s funny, these actually just end up tasting super chocolatey. I’m not entirely sure the alcohol gets cooked out of them, either. -Fernando)


Guinness Chocolate Chip Pancakes: Eat Responsibly.

Morning Glory:

Fernando: For a proper beverage to pair with this, make some coffee. Any kind will do, but leave plenty of room for cream. Add 1 part Bailey’s, 1 part Kahlua, and 1 part Jameson whiskey. I’ll also still add a splash of milk to it. Fellow Wrecked Editor Ben named it a Morning Glory the first time I made it, so that’s the name. Yeah, it’s delicious and the perfect morning pick-me-up! Next time, I’m also figuring adding Bailey’s whipped cream to the mix,it needs to happen. How would that NOT be delicious in this and on the pancakes?!

With that, I leave you to go forth and get drunk off pancakes. You won’t regret it. Well, maybe you will when you’re hungover around lunch if you ate enough, but you’ll know it was worth it.

-Fernando & Johnna

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About Fernando Landaverde
I like technology, rally, metal, food, beer, whiskey, and tequila. That just about covers it.

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